Archive for March, 2009

Would You Like Boogers With That?

Posted in Fun in the Workplace on March 19, 2009 by piousphonegirl

My office was all atwitter after a customer meeting this morning.

 

First, a bit of back story; our sales manager is a loud-mouthed, arrogant, self-righteous, pot-bellied relic from the good ‘ole days who thinks women should be breast feeding, not running multi-million dollar production contracts.

 

Now, what happened in the meeting: For confidentiality I’ll call my Director of Operations Madame X and my Director of Sales Mister Dickwad.

 

The two are sitting in an important customer meeting with the sales lead and the Director of Manufacturing. The customer asks, “If you have the parts I don’t understand why the unit will be late.”

 

Madame X opens her mouth to explain. Mr. Dickwad cuts her off, holding up a fat-fingered hand. “I can answer that.”  

 

Madame X smiled nicely, not taking the obvious bait to challenge him and look petty in front of the customer.

 

Mr. Dickwad further baits her by stopping mid sentence, throwing her a pointed look, and asking, “Is there any coffee?”

 

Madame X: “There’s a pot on the buffett behind you.”

Mr. Dickwad: “Pour me a cup, will you?” He pauses. “With two sugars.”

 

Madame X, ever dignified and professional, smiles sweetly, and gets up to pour him a cup of coffee, asking the customer if he would like one as well. Said irritated customer declines and presses Mr. Dickwad to continue. Happily sipping on his triumphant cup of coffee, Mr. Dickwad blusters through a lengthily explanation.

 

Fast forward an hour:

 Madame X stalks past my office wearing a murderous look. I jump up from my desk and slip into my supply closet, and press my ear against the wall.

 

Office door closes just on the side of loudly, slightly rattling the wall.

Madame X. “Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I am your colleague, not your coffee girl. The next time you ask me to get coffee for you, it will be served the way it was served to you this morning.”

 

I hear a squeak from the chair as Mr. Dickwad leans back in what I know is his amused and slightly mocking act. “Yeah, how’s that?”

Madame X: “With a booger in it.”

 

I tell ya, I can’t wait until we have a woman in the White House.